Lacking Self-Confidence And Independence?

Image by BK

In order to be independent you must have confidence, through independence you gain more confidence.Now how can you take your initial step into independence when you are lacking confidence? Too many people are bound by what society, their peers, their parents and the government tells them.People lack confidence because they were handed everything in life and never had a chance to feel they can accomplish things on their own.

On the polar opposite of being handed everything people aren’t given anything in life but told what to do in every aspect; what to wear, what dreams to pursue, what time to come home, where they are allowed to go.  In this case I’m not talking about children because guidance of children is essential I’m talking about parents/older influences that control full grown adults.  When you are controlled and you have no autonomy you are bound by what other people tell you.  This is regardless of what the person controlling you is offering you.

A person could be ruining your life by never instilling you with confidence and independence.  This is because you will always think this “superior” person has a smarter perspective on life then you and you can never believe that your own thoughts are correct.  You grow old not ever being sure of yourself, you are full of doubt, you are scared to leave your comfort zone.  Ultimately you lack confidence and independence.

There are people from their early 20’s to over 60 years old who live their lives to please others and bottle up so much negative emotion.

They resent the people who control them and grow up in fear.   I’ve seen adults that have brains like children because they were suppressed of their own thoughts and never developed their own voice.  Be grateful if in the early years of your life your parents/family instilled in you to have your own opinion, to never let people tell you what to do and make you  feel like you have a purpose in society.


What people don’t understand is that the teacher is often not smarter then the student.  A teacher/parent/role model is a mentor who should teach you that you have unbound potential and that you can one day change the world.  In a classroom full of young people lies the future.  A future executive, a future spiritual leader, a future scientist, a future author.  It is our job to instill our young people and all people for that matter, with the confidence/independence to go out and reach for the stars.


If we control our young people by bounding them with what we want for them, what we think they should be, how we think they should think and how we think they should act they will never develop their own voice.  They will never have the determination to achieve great things.  This is a huge crisis in my generation, so many young adults growing up believing they were created to live mediocre.  They are taught to “never go against the tide” “never to go against the status quo” so they grow up as a follower and be what others want them to be.


People have no passion, no drive, no motivation to be someone great.  As parents/teachers/role models/mentors we should give people the confirmation that they are a beautiful, divine human being who has limitless possibilities.   This is a much better alternative then controlling people and pushing our style of living and thinking on them. Give our youth and suppressed adults a voice, make them feel their opinion is valid and that they have the power to change the world.  For those scared to stand up to their controllers and oppressors, eliminate the fear and do what is best for you.  Stop living to please other people. If you love yourself follow your heart and break free from whatever is hurting you no matter how hard or offensive it may be.



  • Michelle

    nicely written. Interesting read.